Vol No: 83,
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THE LOVE THING
By Eric Orji
E-mail: ayoadehat@yahoo.co.uk

What do girls talk about in the bathroom?

I WISH I can present a good list of topics (things that guys will find useful, that is) that women talk about while congregating in the bathroom/powder room/toilet. But I can't help but wonder, what's the big deal anyway? I don't understand why they find it "annoying", "amusing" or "weird" that women do travel in packs when heading to the said destination.

Well, okay. Let me give it a go and list some of the things they talk about: Makeup and girly stuff while freshening up, recent shopping haulage, latest gossip (either showbiz or family or friends, whatever they're most interested in), men and sex (depends on how bashful these friends are about that topic) or just a chance to compare notes or catch up on small things if they're with a crowd and it's the only time they can get away and talk.

Quite recently, I overheard a conversation among three snotty high school kids in the aforementioned location. Can you guess what they were talking about? Well, basically, they were gossiping about and getting a laugh at the expense of their classmate whom they think are not as "cool" as they are. Nice, yeah? Well, that's cold hard truth. Cool, indeed. Heh. Some people find the comfort of toilets befitting of such behaviour.

Personally, I'm not the type who practices this sort of thing, needing to go to the bathroom with my girlfriends. I can go to the toilet on my own but of course I won't turn away an offer to be accompanied by a friend who needs to go to the toilet, too.

Conversation is to be expected if you're with someone, right? But we don't use going to the bathroom as an excuse to hold a meeting or whatever. I can always single out friends to talk in private outside the bathroom, just away from the group we're with. Or perhaps schedule a different time to have that talk.

You guys have any idea on what sort of things girls talk about in the bathroom? Do you really think that it's something that men should pay any sort of attention to? Is it really something significant? BY SASHA MANUEL


A surrendered single woman

THE WORD surrender frightens some because it calls to mind losing a battle or spinelessness.

But in interpersonal relationships, surrendering is simply acknowledging that sometimes the only thing I can change is my attitude, and that doing so has a profound effect on everything else. Making 'surrender' your mantra is much shorter and to the point than saying to yourself, 'Stop trying to dictate who comes into your life and what he'll be like and when he will call.'

The basic principles of a Surrendered Single are that she: 1. acknowledges her desire to attract and marry a man who's right for her;
2. lets go of the idea of a perfect man;
3. receives compliments, gifts, help, and dates graciously whenever possible;
4. takes responsibility for and focuses on her own happiness and fulfilment;
5. relinquishes control of the pace of the courtship;
6. strives to be vulnerable;
7. honours her desire to be married by ending dead-end relationships;
8. checks for safety before she risks herself physically or emotionally.

A Surrendered Single is:
1. open where she was guarded;
2. optimistic where she was cynical;
3. feminine where she was tough;
4. gracious where once she fended for herself;
5. respectful where she used to feel superior.

When a single woman surrenders, she doesn't try to manipulate a man to express his feelings, devotion, or commitment.

She knows that would render his words meaningless. It creates the same kind of tension and frustration as when you twist someone's arm to do something rather than letting him decide when and how he wants to do it. She refrains from making ultimatums, nagging, criticizing, and correcting the man she is romantically involved with.

She knows she can't improve someone else, and that trying to do so will cost her intimacy. Instead of indulging in negative thinking about men and dating, she knows that there are both pleasures and risks involved in discovering an intimate relationship.

A Surrendered Single lets go of the negative beliefs she's been holding on to like a security blanket, such as:

1. There are no good single men out there.
2. I'm too old to attract someone.
3. Dating is too much trouble.

At first surrendering will feel awkward and frightening. But so what? No one ever died from these feelings. They're trivial compared to the payoff

 

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editor@africanecho.co.uk

 
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